Why Men Cheat

By Emmanuel Abazu

"Because it is in their DNA ” is one of the responses I got when I decided to post the question on Facebook.

It may interest you to know that this shocking response was from a lady. There were other mind-boggling responses that got me wondering what informs our perspective on the subject.

Women cheat as well. Yes, they do… with men. I’m not a woman and I don’t know why women cheat, but I have a feeling I might go crazy if I try to probe into that. So I’d just skip.

I have been asked by several ladies, “which of these three are you into; drinking, smoking or womanizing?” If you dare pull a stunt and say something like “Oh no, I don’t do all that”, they will instantly get animated and come up with shit like “Oh c’mon! Who are you trying to deceive? Are you not a man?” “We sabi as e dey go na”

I’m not a psychologist, but I’m a man. I’m not married, but I’ve been in relationships. To satisfy your curiously, yes, I have cheated on my woman in the past. I know it is wrong and irresponsible and I’m not proud of it. But that is a topic for another day.

Below, I have attempted to answer the ancient question.

Everybody does it. Unlike women, men are not shy about sharing their extra-marital escapades with friends and partners in crime. They have a lot of fun gisting about that other girl from last night. As a matter of fact, they flaunt it. Adding each new conquest as another feather to their jerky hats. If anyone of them present in the meeting has never cheated, temptation to do so increases by 90% (no statistical reference). He will just sit making up immoral plans that will eventually hatch.

Love for stolen meats . That’s by far the most popular reason. Another interesting response I got on my Facebook wall is “Okay let’s just say girls are like fruits in there variants, strawberries, bananas, oranges, cherries etc. and guys love fruit salad” Others will claim, “men are hunters” and “women love to be chased”, so it’s like a game with thrilling adventures for all players. Stolen meats are sweet.

To prove a point . As wack as this sounds, men cheat to prove a point. “Yes, I can”, “I am smart enough to cheat and not get caught”, or to simply convince himself that he is a man too, after all. The simple logic will be; ‘All men cheat’, Mr. Dick is a man, Mr. Dick cheats!

Lack of good examples. A boy who grows up watching his father cheat on his mother will likely cheat. After all, dad cheats on mom and they are still married after 40 years. Cheating will in fact seem to him as a recipe for a ‘happy married life’.

Most women expect them to. That is the only logical explanation for a married woman who packs her husband’s bag for a trip and conveniently adds condoms like it’s socks or boxers. After all, cheating is “in their DNA”. Come to think of it, no gentle man wants to disappoint his woman.

Some women want them to. A doctor friend of mine told me how that to his surprise, a married couple walked into the hospital to see him because the wife feared she might be pregnant. The pretty young mother claimed the last two pregnancies almost claimed her life and wouldn’t want to go through such again, ever. “I even brought a pretty girl home for him to have sex with any time he wants”, pointing to the husband who sat next to her smiling freakishly, “But no, he won’t just let me be”. No, that isn’t a movie, but a real life story. I’m not even sure that could be classed as cheating.

The society lets them. Over 2000 years ago, two people were caught making out in Israel, and the woman was brought to Jesus to judge. Do you remember that story? One will wonder where the man was. It takes two to f**k! Imagine how the story would have gone if it was Hilary who cheated on Bill Clinton.

Now bring that home to Africa. Youp! your guess is as good as mine. Other flimsy reasons will include, ending a relationship, because he was seduced, he doesn’t trust her and probably a billion other reasons.

Truth is, none of the reasons stated above is good enough for infidelity. Men and women face tempting situations that will compel them to cheat at some point in their lives. Choosing to cheat is ultimately a personal decision. Whatever happened to discipline and self-control?

The only valid reason men cheat is because they choose to.

Here is a quick question for men; if you knew she was an HIV patient, will you go ahead and still cheat on your partner with her? If the answer is “No”, then you can stop cheating. #‎Simple !

WATCH OUT FOR MY NEXT ARTICLE: "NEGATIVE SIDE OF A RELATIONSHIP". Coming soon.....